How we sabotage ourselves by comparing ourselves to others
How many times have your had this tiresome little conversation inside your head?
Perhaps you’ve had it aloud with a friend, partner or coach.
“It’s ok for them they like going to the gym but I can’t stand it…”
“It’s alright for him / her but I’ll never be able to do that”
Before I link all of this up in some contrived positive, motivational parable. Hear me out.
You see I totally get this.
I do exactly the same thing, maybe not about loving the gym though but definitely by comparing myself to others.
For example as a somewhat disorganised weekend dad I often hear myself saying it’s easy for other parents to be organised and book that show / ticket / meal, but it’s different for me… I have x,y,z to contend with.
As soon as this thought crosses my mind I’ve allowed a few undesirable things happen which perhaps you’ll recognise.
What happes when we do this?
- I’ve absolved myself of responsibility – It’s not my fault that other parents are better at this than I am, they have a support system or insert any other such excuse.
- I am now powerless to exert any real control over the outcome. As I’m not taking any steps to truly influence what’s going to happen.
- Victimhood, the badge of honour proudly worn by those who abdicate responsibility / ownership for their lives.
- Choice! I can’t emphasise this enough. We live in Free Western Society and we have choices. As someone told me recently, they may not be the choices you hoped for but you have options nonetheless.
David Goggins shares his wisdom
This post was inspired by David Goggins who put it more succinctly this morning and made me laugh. He related the story of how he was talking to someone who was extremely frustrated about their poor fitness levels. They explained to him how:
They couldn’t find their why
Couldn’t find their purpose…
They couldn’t find their motivation.
Goggins in response asked “Can you reach down and find your balls?”
I don’t want to cause offence with any of the above and I’m sure neither did Goggins. It’s just a humorous attempt to get a point across.
Nothing positive will happen unless…
You take responsibility.
You take some action!
